Mao Mao Speaks

 Our world shapes us as much as we shape our world.  That is something I can't stop thinking about as I process the wild and wonderful miles I spent with some of my best friends this past weekend (November 7th-8th 2020).   It strikes me that, like so much in life, the pursuit of achieving dreams is a journey best traveled with good company.   Successfully surrounding yourself with supportive, talented, thoughtful, and dedicated people is the cornerstone of growth.   And like I've written before in reference to other races, this race didn't begin on the 7th, it started sometime in April.  Last year, after running the Bryce Canyon 100 , I decided that I would race locally this year.  Focus on local races and training on local trails.   Give back to the people and places that have shaped me.   50ks and 50 milers would be easy to find.  I knew I really wanted to run Brett Sherfy's Gateway 50k and (crew schedule permi...

This week has been, at its very best, a blur.  A whirlwind of pain, sickness mixed with moments of inexpressible joy.   I know what you're thinking; of course it has been, you ran 100 miles last Friday/Saturday dummy.   And yes that has something to do with the highs and lows.  Amid all of the "normal" things that come with a post 100 miles effort I have also fought a stomach flu and traveled to Tampa for meetings.   So my mind is mush, my soul is Swiss cheese and I'm finding ways to smile through it all.   With that in mind, be kind in your judgments on my rambling about what Bryce means to me and what I learned.  Sums up post run Sean - Photo Cred to Julia The idea of running Bryce came by way of Brett Sherfy.  During one of our group runs he mentioned the race as a possible 100 for the crew.  This conversation was in 2016 and I have written in the past about the inspiration that conversation has provided....

"When you say you saw her, I assume you mean in the literal sense?"  I asked Fenny half hoping he had, in fact, seen her and half hoping it was the figment of an overactive imagination.  Ever since we found our way out of the quagmire that started so many years ago Fenny had been known for letting his fears override his grip on reality.  He would often swear we were being followed.  Stalked.  Fenny answered "As sure as I am sitting here.  She saw me too.  I know it, I just know it.  What are we going to do?  Christ! She saw me.. she did...".  I interrupted here and spoke to Fenny in a quiet yet firm tone, "Ok.  If she did, let's say she did see you.  What?  Did you she follow you? Is she outside the window?  No?   Of course she isn't.  She isn't that dumb."  I think I was trying to calm us both down.  Storms follow some people.  Some people create the storms.   But Elle was...

"I saw her."  Fenny wasn't known for flat subtlety.  Over the years the man had honed his skill for turning mundane interactions into carnival level productions .  But as he said those words with the dark tone of unfettered fear, I couldn't help but smirk.  And this was in spite of the fact that I knew exactly who he was talking about. _________________________________________________________________________________ Not long after our time in the clink for our minor vegetation infraction, Fenny and I decided that we still needed to see the Smokys.   By time in the clink I am talking the weekend.   We paid our fine and we were on our way.  Record besmirched but on our way.  Prison can do strange things to a person.  Make you really appreciate the finer things.  For me, it made me really want a burger from any one of the finer establishments that dot the highways across our great nation.  Thee burger of choice was marke...

As I flipped on the light switch I felt the electricity of anticipation surge through my body.  It isn't going to be an ordinary day.  No day after today will be ordinary.   It was odd to know this and yet still be unsure of just how extraordinary today would become.  How different I was going to be from here on out.  Knowledge is fleeting and floating.  It is a sly thing.  Hard to attain and, if not properly cared for, will slip away like a lost sneeze.   Grip too tightly and you can snuff it out or twist it into a shape unrecognizable.   It's enough to make you want to switch the light back off. The weather was holding onto the last remnants of early winter.  Afternoons could be sunny and mild.  They could also turn overcast and blustery.  Because of this I grabbed my jacket just in case my hoodie wouldn't be enough.   I took one last look back into my apartment thinking through my mental check list...

The February 2nd, 2018 me never thought I would be writing this race report.  That me was sitting alone in a Shenzhen hotel room wondering how the hell I was going to make it through another day.  That me was far away from home and wrestling with a million demons.  That me wasn't happy or really running much at all.   The December 11th, 2018 me is still in shock that I can say I entered, was selected to run (by the skin of my teeth) and finished the Hellgate 100k.   The race is small in field by design and daunting in it's rugged toughness.   As you climb and descend the course changes effortlessly, slyly from technical to flowing and then back again.   Just as you become comfortable with your pace and find your flow you realize it is time to adjust.  Adjust, because now you are on a gravel road.  Adjust, because now you struggle to find even footing.  Adjust.  My training was pretty good heading into Hell...