As I am making my journey to the 100 mile race goal, I get asked the same question. I mean it comes in my forms but the core of the inquires are the same. Why? Why run that distance? The answer always escapes me at the time. But when I am out on the trails with my friends or eating donuts afterwards, the answer hangs there like a pregnant pause in a speech. You can't put your finger on it. Words can't define it. But the answer is among those moments with them. The moments with myself. Racing. Training. Those moments. That is why. And, yet...it is bigger than that.
Suffering breeds a special type of hope. Whether self induced or otherwise the growth from confronting pain head-on cannot be described or emulated. I find myself inspired by those you have dug deep to face challenges they didn't know they were equipped for. The strength, the hope, one has to have to go eyes open into a situation that seems larger than themselves is infectious. Being around those who individuals makes you feel stronger yourself. And it doesn't hurt that they are usually the first to tell you...you can do anything.
It is not secret that I struggle with anxiety and depression. A while back I was really into TED talks. The talk below is a great example of creating your own happiness.
http://www.ted.com/talks/david_steindl_rast_want_to_be_happy_be_grateful
The best way for me to practice gratitude is to find ways to help. One of the struggles that I personally have with running as much as I do is that...well I enjoy it. That means I do it a lot and it also means time away from family and friends that don't enjoy the sweet, joyful pain of long runs. So when the question of "why" is asked it makes it doubly as heart wrenching to not have a better answer than "Cuz...um...". It is like an extra smack in the face to those who are left without the gentle pleasure of my company for hours at a time ;). I need a way to manage that guilt. It's not you (or them)...it'sme.
Something that the folks in my crew (what up, homies?!) all have in common is this idea that the world will be a much better place if we give back. Whether it is Trevor and his Always Brothers charity or Brett constantly reminding everyone around him they are awesome, my friends are actively making themselves and the world better. One step at a time. Consistently. Those are just two examples of the wonderful people in my life.
I suffer. Have been. But I have to face it. Just like I face the runs I undertake I need to attack my life. But what can I do? How can I help to show my gratitude for the ability to enjoy the time with my friends and all the amazing things I have seen? Give back to gain.
This is where I decide what to do and you have to help :). I just signed up to be a St. Jude Hero. This program was something I became aware of during the first Half Marathon I ever ran. During the training for that race I signed up and it was a great experience. It felt really good to know that I was helping raise funds for such a wonderful cause. As I train and blog about getting ready, physically and mentally, to run 100 miles I ask that you each consider donating on my page (link below). All the money goes to the families but all the joy goes me (and you of course). You will be helping me, those families and yourself. Can't go wrong.
That is it for now...Until next time!
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