Mao Mao Speaks

"When you say you saw her, I assume you mean in the literal sense?"  I asked Fenny half hoping he had, in fact, seen her and half hoping it was the figment of an overactive imagination.  Ever since we found our way out of the quagmire that started so many years ago Fenny had been known for letting his fears override his grip on reality.  He would often swear we were being followed.  Stalked.  Fenny answered "As sure as I am sitting here.  She saw me too.  I know it, I just know it.  What are we going to do?  Christ! She saw me.. she did...".  I interrupted here and spoke to Fenny in a quiet yet firm tone, "Ok.  If she did, let's say she did see you.  What?  Did you she follow you? Is she outside the window?  No?   Of course she isn't.  She isn't that dumb."  I think I was trying to calm us both down.  Storms follow some people.  Some people create the storms.   But Elle was...

"I saw her."  Fenny wasn't known for flat subtlety.  Over the years the man had honed his skill for turning mundane interactions into carnival level productions .  But as he said those words with the dark tone of unfettered fear, I couldn't help but smirk.  And this was in spite of the fact that I knew exactly who he was talking about. _________________________________________________________________________________ Not long after our time in the clink for our minor vegetation infraction, Fenny and I decided that we still needed to see the Smokys.   By time in the clink I am talking the weekend.   We paid our fine and we were on our way.  Record besmirched but on our way.  Prison can do strange things to a person.  Make you really appreciate the finer things.  For me, it made me really want a burger from any one of the finer establishments that dot the highways across our great nation.  Thee burger of choice was marke...

As I flipped on the light switch I felt the electricity of anticipation surge through my body.  It isn't going to be an ordinary day.  No day after today will be ordinary.   It was odd to know this and yet still be unsure of just how extraordinary today would become.  How different I was going to be from here on out.  Knowledge is fleeting and floating.  It is a sly thing.  Hard to attain and, if not properly cared for, will slip away like a lost sneeze.   Grip too tightly and you can snuff it out or twist it into a shape unrecognizable.   It's enough to make you want to switch the light back off. The weather was holding onto the last remnants of early winter.  Afternoons could be sunny and mild.  They could also turn overcast and blustery.  Because of this I grabbed my jacket just in case my hoodie wouldn't be enough.   I took one last look back into my apartment thinking through my mental check list...

The February 2nd, 2018 me never thought I would be writing this race report.  That me was sitting alone in a Shenzhen hotel room wondering how the hell I was going to make it through another day.  That me was far away from home and wrestling with a million demons.  That me wasn't happy or really running much at all.   The December 11th, 2018 me is still in shock that I can say I entered, was selected to run (by the skin of my teeth) and finished the Hellgate 100k.   The race is small in field by design and daunting in it's rugged toughness.   As you climb and descend the course changes effortlessly, slyly from technical to flowing and then back again.   Just as you become comfortable with your pace and find your flow you realize it is time to adjust.  Adjust, because now you are on a gravel road.  Adjust, because now you struggle to find even footing.  Adjust.  My training was pretty good heading into Hell...

"Number 97, Sean Raines!  That is a good looking jacket!"  Those are the words of Dr. David Horton as I crossed the finish line at the Holiday Lake "50k" Saturday (Feb. 12 2018).  The jacket he was referring to was my greenish yellow Patagonia Houdini.  This particular style of jacket was awarded to those who finished the Hellgate 100k a few years ago.  It was also not the first time that day I had been confused with a finisher of the Hellgate 100k which is why I know said jacket was an award that year.  And that is what I want to write about today.  Bear with me, it might not make sense but  I will try to draw the comparison to my performance at Holiday Lake and the confusion my clothes caused. The day started as normally as any other ultra I have run.  I woke up pretty easily.  So easily that I am not sure I really slept the night before. It was a restless night.  As restless as many of my nights have been lately.  Regardle...

The grind of China is unrelenting.  It is strange to me that the more time I spend in China the more I learn I don’t know anything of significance about Chinese culture.  Even after 8 years the only thing familiar is the unfamiliarity of it all.  The people.  The culture.  The food.  The bathrooms (holy crap, the bathrooms).  And even without the warm comfort familiarity brings I still enjoy visiting China.  Today, I will write about what I know and, more importantly, what I have yet to learn. “This is China”.  A quote I hear all too often.  Usually after something indescribable happens.  Something that is so different that is evident to not only me that I will never understand.  As an example; Once, probably my first trip, my colleagues and I were picked up at the hotel to start our work day.  On the way out we passed through a toll station.  We passed that station every morning of the week prior.  Ther...

Rolling into aid station 6, mile ~26 of EDU (Eastern Divide Ultra) I was feeling pretty good.  I had walked most of the climb headed into aid station 6 but picked up my pace when I saw one Pawl Nazarewicz cheering me on from the top of the climb.  It was good to see him and it lifted my spirits.  Standing behind him was Rick.  Just past Rick was Kristen, Linda and Michelle.   Stepping up to the table I spoke to Jordan.  As he filled my water bottle and Michelle handed me a Popsicle (sorry Trevor) I bent over to get a little stretch on my legs and take a deep breath.  Deep in a cave of regret.  Jordy poured cold water on my neck (2 cups) and said "you're not going to like this but you need it.  So yeah... I don't care, you need it." photo cred goes to Kristen Chang He was right.  The cold treat and cold water in my bottle was a boost.  The cheers from friends and words of encouragement, a spirit lifter.  But it was the ...