The tiles on the bathroom floor were so cold. Cold and comfortable. And the feeling in my stomach reminded me of the benders I had been on during my days in sales. Sick and empty. But that floor. Heaven.
That is what I remember about my first 1 mile run. Whenever anyone asks me about how/why I started running this is what I tell them. Why do I start this way? Simply because it paints the beautiful picture of why runners run. 5kers, marathon (what?) speedsters, ultra beasts and casual pub runners all have the same drive. All share an obsession. That obsession is squeezing out every drop of the wonderfully sweet syrup life has to offer. It starts with pain, but running leaves you enjoying the simple things so much more. Water. Plain water even tastes sweet.
Now that we are getting to know each other I should let you in on a something all those that are close to me know. I talk...a lot. So, of course the story of how/why I began isn't as simple as me laying on a floor. It isn't that short either. So grab a drink (my boy Trevor recommends spicy water and so do I), get comfortable.
I had jogged on and off for years. I also used to smoke. I smoked more than I jogged, which most smokers do. But something inside me always found something poetic about the human body finding rhythm with nature. It is why I love white water rafting, hiking and spending time on the beach. Often times I find myself staring at the outside world while traveling. At peace.
Usually my jogging was a warm up before I lifted weights. Which meant dreadmill. The dreadmill is probably why I never considered running seriously. I am NOT saying dreadmill running is not running. I am saying it just wasn't for me. For me, the magic doesn't happen unless I am outside.
Enter Deb. My wife and fellow traveler in life. Deb doesn't run. She also doesn't tolerate smoking. So when it got serious (which happened quick) the smoking stopped. Then the food started. Like copious amounts of food down my throat. All the time. We now enter the age of Fat Sean.
Fat Sean was an unhappy guy but at least Deb loved him and he wasn't smoking. Another thing Deb never said was "Wow, you fat son".
A.) She wouldn't use "son" in conversation unless talking about Rookie.
B.) She would never say anything about my weight.
But I proclaimed one day that I needed to hit the gym and she was very supportive. Just don't wake her up. I'm an early morning guy. If I don't get my workout in the morning I talk myself out of it during the day.
I started shedding weight. Then while sitting at a stop light I got hit by a 18 wheeler on my way home from the gym. That's another story. Don't worry I am fine. Like I told the paramedic, I'm Superman. So I became sedentary again. I didn't however start smoking again. Which is a miracle.
Blah...blah...blah we moved from Cincinnati to Blacksburg, VA and I was slaying my job. Life was good. This is a blog. You will hear all these stories eventually. Geez cut a guy some slack. Here is where it gets good.
I am in Marketing. In Marketing you find a lot of people like..well...like me. Driven. Competitive. So this is where I met Scott Eller. Scott is a wonderful guy. He also one of the most competitive people I know. When my buddy Matt Fillman asked me to join him and Heath Honaker in a Tough Mudder I thought Scott would be a great edition. So I asked him and he said yes. Mainly because I don't think he can pass up an adventure and also I don't think he would ever let me do something that epic without being involved. Scott and I started running to train for the event. Then Matt's back got hurt, Heath got busy and Scott never signed up. So I had all this training (like maybe a month) under my belt and nothing to do.
What really happened is I secretly fell in love with running. Something about the micro achievements. The mile that turns into two. The time you ran the same route faster than last time. Just lacing up when you aren't in the mood and return in a better mood because you overcame the then current mood of blah. It was quite simply intoxicating to feel that achievement. Most things in adult life offer such immediate confirmation of success.
In my search for the next thing to keep training for I found a 5k locally that looked interesting. Why did I look for the next thing? Here is a secret...I didn't want people to know I liked running just yet. In fact, I had spent a fair amount of my life making fun of runners. Oh the horror. I was closed minded. But I was factually ignorant about the joy of running. I was also young and naive. I feared if those closest to me knew I just wanted to run they would ridicule me like I ridiculed others that ran. Y'all need to remember this. Because it comes back. It's like foreshadowing up in here.
Sundown 5k. It was perfect. I download couch to 5k and hit the Huck (local trail in Blacksburg/Christiansburg). It was tough. It was beautiful. I saw the seasons change. I saw myself change. During my runs I would stop running about every mile. About every mile was the last mile I would ever run. But at the end I was always glad I had ran. This is where I realized that on every run I take there is a point where I want to quit but I never regret pushing through. There isn't a run I start where I don't think about quitting and there is never a run I finish that I am glad I didn't quit. I learned that everyone wants to quit at some point. Success is not giving in to that urge. I ran the 5k in 28 minutes. Not bad and I surprised myself. I got passed by a child, a young girl of I'd say about 7. But I did it. Deb was there. It was awesome.
Now what? Still not ready to come out to my friends and family. I wrote the 5k off as being a bucket list item. But the call of the wild was too strong. I went too far there. I know. But I am over the top. Sue me. I found another 5k in Richmond that was coming up around my birthday. Great!!!! Another excuse to run. I talked it over with Deb and she thought it was good idea. So training commenced. At this point my best friends Jim and Kristi were onto me. They knew what I couldn't admit. I was a runner. But love their sweet hearts, they were accepting.
The Richmond Color Run 5k was my second run and I loved it. The community. The smiles. I had a great birthday and we all had fun. Then the dark days set in. I got a wicked case of shin splints and I completely stopped running. Just walking hurt a while. I was running but I hadn't lost weight. This cost me my legs. It was very depressing. In fact I thought maybe I wasn't cut out for running. I even visited my local running store to see if the right shoes would help. The folks at Runabout Sports (what up dogs?) did help me understand my stride but the shoes didn't help. My weight was literally breaking me. The problem is, I didn't see it. Well I saw it. I mean I was fat, it was hard to miss. I mean, I didn't realize I needed to lighten up.
So I lost weight. This story is getting long so I will spare you how that happened for now. But running came back into my life. In a rare moment of sanity I decided to take it slow with my comeback. In other words, I didn't overdo it like I usually do. Meanwhile I was searching for a new goal. Something else for me aim for. A friend at work (Keely) knew that I also like helping people and mentioned to me that there was a 5k in Radford being organized for the Light It Up Blue campaign which raises funds/awareness around autism. Again I had a reason to run. We organized a team at work and raised money. Then we ran. After the 5k Keely and her mom dropped a bug in my ear about a Half Marathon (what?) in VA beach. I'm not ready for that, I thought. Then I thought, I'm going to do it.
So I signed up. Actually I talked to Deb about it then I signed up. Maybe. It gets foggy. The key is I talked to Deb and she supported it. I also sold it as a mini-vacation at a beach. After signing up I was contacted by St. Jude's. They were a sponsor of the run and asked me sign up as a St. Jude's Hero. I don't know about you but I can't watch those commercials and not cry. Those kids. So I said yes. This gave me something other than me to run for. Which I needed. That race was HARD. VA beach in September is not an ideal time to run for a mountain boy. The humidity quite literally almost killed me. It is good that our hotel was close to the post race concert. Cuz homie wasn't leaving his room.
I thought it was over after that. That half about knocked me out for good. But I was hooked...so I signed up for the Hokie Half which was in November of that year. I needed redemption. The dirty secret is I walked some during the VA beach half. And it ate me up inside. About this time I started running with Chris and Sean. Chris and I worked together for years. And for years he ran ALLLLL the time. I never outright made fun of him because of his running, but I would wonder aloud at why he would run so much. It was truly because I was jealous of the talent he possessed. Not just speed but his drive. His commitment. His stupid positive attitude. Jerk.
I got my redemption and I made some seriously great friends in Chris and Sean. Friday mornings were now running mornings. Rain or shine. The story of the Hokie Half 2014 will have to wait. Wait because I need to tell the current story of where I am in life. I am at the coffee maker at work. A new woman at work is standing there and we are introduced. She starts with "Oh...you're the runner!". Her name is Heather. And Heather Fisher-Clarke calling you a runner is something to be proud of. She had heard about me from Chris. Now Heather has helped me a lot in my running but in this story she simply told me about the Wednesday night "Pub Runs" put on by Runabout Sports. She also told me about her friends Trevor and Ginger and how I would love them. She was right.
On a whim I went to the Pub Run. On a hunch I tapped a guy on the shoulder and asked if I could run with his crew that night. That guy, Trevor said "sure man!" Trevor and Ginger were the most welcoming people I have ever met. Their friendship is such a blessing. I also met Amy, Andy and Kurt that night. We had a blast. Wednesday night at Runabout has become a must for me. These friends have become some of the closest friends I have ever had. In the mix I met Pawel, Royce, Brett, Jim, Dan, Jordan, Kristen, Linda and Donna. So many great friends. And talent. And smart. Smarter than I will ever be. I can't forget to mention David Burke, Chris Larson and Julia Dale (the saint) or Josh and Jill Hamilton. Some of these folks I have just met but I feel like I have known for years.
My story isn't over. It's just beginning. I ran my first marathon (what?) November 2015 in Richmond. Last weekend I completed my first Ultra. My first because it isn't my last. Since running, I get asked some weird questions and hear my fair share of jokes. The jokey question I love to answer most is: "What are you running from?" My answer used to be Fat Sean. But lately I've been answering it by saying I am not running from anything I am running to something. That something is me. The version of me I need to be. Out there, on the trails and with my friends I have found myself. A version of myself that has been hidden for a long time. Among the beautiful pain of building I found what I didn't know was missing for so long. If the cost is a wheelchair when I'm 90, I'll take it.
That is what I remember about my first 1 mile run. Whenever anyone asks me about how/why I started running this is what I tell them. Why do I start this way? Simply because it paints the beautiful picture of why runners run. 5kers, marathon (what?) speedsters, ultra beasts and casual pub runners all have the same drive. All share an obsession. That obsession is squeezing out every drop of the wonderfully sweet syrup life has to offer. It starts with pain, but running leaves you enjoying the simple things so much more. Water. Plain water even tastes sweet.
Now that we are getting to know each other I should let you in on a something all those that are close to me know. I talk...a lot. So, of course the story of how/why I began isn't as simple as me laying on a floor. It isn't that short either. So grab a drink (my boy Trevor recommends spicy water and so do I), get comfortable.
I had jogged on and off for years. I also used to smoke. I smoked more than I jogged, which most smokers do. But something inside me always found something poetic about the human body finding rhythm with nature. It is why I love white water rafting, hiking and spending time on the beach. Often times I find myself staring at the outside world while traveling. At peace.
Usually my jogging was a warm up before I lifted weights. Which meant dreadmill. The dreadmill is probably why I never considered running seriously. I am NOT saying dreadmill running is not running. I am saying it just wasn't for me. For me, the magic doesn't happen unless I am outside.
Enter Deb. My wife and fellow traveler in life. Deb doesn't run. She also doesn't tolerate smoking. So when it got serious (which happened quick) the smoking stopped. Then the food started. Like copious amounts of food down my throat. All the time. We now enter the age of Fat Sean.
 |
| Fat Sean |
A.) She wouldn't use "son" in conversation unless talking about Rookie.
B.) She would never say anything about my weight.
But I proclaimed one day that I needed to hit the gym and she was very supportive. Just don't wake her up. I'm an early morning guy. If I don't get my workout in the morning I talk myself out of it during the day.
I started shedding weight. Then while sitting at a stop light I got hit by a 18 wheeler on my way home from the gym. That's another story. Don't worry I am fine. Like I told the paramedic, I'm Superman. So I became sedentary again. I didn't however start smoking again. Which is a miracle.
Blah...blah...blah we moved from Cincinnati to Blacksburg, VA and I was slaying my job. Life was good. This is a blog. You will hear all these stories eventually. Geez cut a guy some slack. Here is where it gets good.
I am in Marketing. In Marketing you find a lot of people like..well...like me. Driven. Competitive. So this is where I met Scott Eller. Scott is a wonderful guy. He also one of the most competitive people I know. When my buddy Matt Fillman asked me to join him and Heath Honaker in a Tough Mudder I thought Scott would be a great edition. So I asked him and he said yes. Mainly because I don't think he can pass up an adventure and also I don't think he would ever let me do something that epic without being involved. Scott and I started running to train for the event. Then Matt's back got hurt, Heath got busy and Scott never signed up. So I had all this training (like maybe a month) under my belt and nothing to do.
 |
| My Sister in Law Jess, Brother in Law Moise and my first headband |
 |
| I eventually completed a Tough Mudder in 2014 |
What really happened is I secretly fell in love with running. Something about the micro achievements. The mile that turns into two. The time you ran the same route faster than last time. Just lacing up when you aren't in the mood and return in a better mood because you overcame the then current mood of blah. It was quite simply intoxicating to feel that achievement. Most things in adult life offer such immediate confirmation of success.
In my search for the next thing to keep training for I found a 5k locally that looked interesting. Why did I look for the next thing? Here is a secret...I didn't want people to know I liked running just yet. In fact, I had spent a fair amount of my life making fun of runners. Oh the horror. I was closed minded. But I was factually ignorant about the joy of running. I was also young and naive. I feared if those closest to me knew I just wanted to run they would ridicule me like I ridiculed others that ran. Y'all need to remember this. Because it comes back. It's like foreshadowing up in here.
Sundown 5k. It was perfect. I download couch to 5k and hit the Huck (local trail in Blacksburg/Christiansburg). It was tough. It was beautiful. I saw the seasons change. I saw myself change. During my runs I would stop running about every mile. About every mile was the last mile I would ever run. But at the end I was always glad I had ran. This is where I realized that on every run I take there is a point where I want to quit but I never regret pushing through. There isn't a run I start where I don't think about quitting and there is never a run I finish that I am glad I didn't quit. I learned that everyone wants to quit at some point. Success is not giving in to that urge. I ran the 5k in 28 minutes. Not bad and I surprised myself. I got passed by a child, a young girl of I'd say about 7. But I did it. Deb was there. It was awesome.
 |
| Even my bib was crooked |
Now what? Still not ready to come out to my friends and family. I wrote the 5k off as being a bucket list item. But the call of the wild was too strong. I went too far there. I know. But I am over the top. Sue me. I found another 5k in Richmond that was coming up around my birthday. Great!!!! Another excuse to run. I talked it over with Deb and she thought it was good idea. So training commenced. At this point my best friends Jim and Kristi were onto me. They knew what I couldn't admit. I was a runner. But love their sweet hearts, they were accepting.
The Richmond Color Run 5k was my second run and I loved it. The community. The smiles. I had a great birthday and we all had fun. Then the dark days set in. I got a wicked case of shin splints and I completely stopped running. Just walking hurt a while. I was running but I hadn't lost weight. This cost me my legs. It was very depressing. In fact I thought maybe I wasn't cut out for running. I even visited my local running store to see if the right shoes would help. The folks at Runabout Sports (what up dogs?) did help me understand my stride but the shoes didn't help. My weight was literally breaking me. The problem is, I didn't see it. Well I saw it. I mean I was fat, it was hard to miss. I mean, I didn't realize I needed to lighten up.
So I lost weight. This story is getting long so I will spare you how that happened for now. But running came back into my life. In a rare moment of sanity I decided to take it slow with my comeback. In other words, I didn't overdo it like I usually do. Meanwhile I was searching for a new goal. Something else for me aim for. A friend at work (Keely) knew that I also like helping people and mentioned to me that there was a 5k in Radford being organized for the Light It Up Blue campaign which raises funds/awareness around autism. Again I had a reason to run. We organized a team at work and raised money. Then we ran. After the 5k Keely and her mom dropped a bug in my ear about a Half Marathon (what?) in VA beach. I'm not ready for that, I thought. Then I thought, I'm going to do it.
So I signed up. Actually I talked to Deb about it then I signed up. Maybe. It gets foggy. The key is I talked to Deb and she supported it. I also sold it as a mini-vacation at a beach. After signing up I was contacted by St. Jude's. They were a sponsor of the run and asked me sign up as a St. Jude's Hero. I don't know about you but I can't watch those commercials and not cry. Those kids. So I said yes. This gave me something other than me to run for. Which I needed. That race was HARD. VA beach in September is not an ideal time to run for a mountain boy. The humidity quite literally almost killed me. It is good that our hotel was close to the post race concert. Cuz homie wasn't leaving his room.
I thought it was over after that. That half about knocked me out for good. But I was hooked...so I signed up for the Hokie Half which was in November of that year. I needed redemption. The dirty secret is I walked some during the VA beach half. And it ate me up inside. About this time I started running with Chris and Sean. Chris and I worked together for years. And for years he ran ALLLLL the time. I never outright made fun of him because of his running, but I would wonder aloud at why he would run so much. It was truly because I was jealous of the talent he possessed. Not just speed but his drive. His commitment. His stupid positive attitude. Jerk.
I got my redemption and I made some seriously great friends in Chris and Sean. Friday mornings were now running mornings. Rain or shine. The story of the Hokie Half 2014 will have to wait. Wait because I need to tell the current story of where I am in life. I am at the coffee maker at work. A new woman at work is standing there and we are introduced. She starts with "Oh...you're the runner!". Her name is Heather. And Heather Fisher-Clarke calling you a runner is something to be proud of. She had heard about me from Chris. Now Heather has helped me a lot in my running but in this story she simply told me about the Wednesday night "Pub Runs" put on by Runabout Sports. She also told me about her friends Trevor and Ginger and how I would love them. She was right.
On a whim I went to the Pub Run. On a hunch I tapped a guy on the shoulder and asked if I could run with his crew that night. That guy, Trevor said "sure man!" Trevor and Ginger were the most welcoming people I have ever met. Their friendship is such a blessing. I also met Amy, Andy and Kurt that night. We had a blast. Wednesday night at Runabout has become a must for me. These friends have become some of the closest friends I have ever had. In the mix I met Pawel, Royce, Brett, Jim, Dan, Jordan, Kristen, Linda and Donna. So many great friends. And talent. And smart. Smarter than I will ever be. I can't forget to mention David Burke, Chris Larson and Julia Dale (the saint) or Josh and Jill Hamilton. Some of these folks I have just met but I feel like I have known for years.
 |
| Heather (left) Pawel and Andy (right) |
 |
| Me, Trevor, Jordan and Brett at the Cascades |
My story isn't over. It's just beginning. I ran my first marathon (what?) November 2015 in Richmond. Last weekend I completed my first Ultra. My first because it isn't my last. Since running, I get asked some weird questions and hear my fair share of jokes. The jokey question I love to answer most is: "What are you running from?" My answer used to be Fat Sean. But lately I've been answering it by saying I am not running from anything I am running to something. That something is me. The version of me I need to be. Out there, on the trails and with my friends I have found myself. A version of myself that has been hidden for a long time. Among the beautiful pain of building I found what I didn't know was missing for so long. If the cost is a wheelchair when I'm 90, I'll take it.
Mao Mao speaks good English.
ReplyDeleteThanks Riss! Miss you guys.
DeleteThis so needed to happen!
ReplyDeleteThank you unknown. I agree :)
Delete