The Time I Worked an Aid Station at the Race I Was Going to Run

The night before my first (and, for now, my only) 50k I was pretty nervous, excited, prepared, happy and honored.  Honored because I was hanging with some seriously hardcore and talented runners. These folks had become my best friends over the months training with them and having them mentor me.  I've written before about the bond you form with those you suffer with.  The ones that see you at your best and your worst, sometimes in the same day.  I have friends, great friends, outside of running but this night I was with these friends.  It was awesome.  Well not for Royce, he had to hear me snore all night but in general it was awesome.   For those new to my blog or want to remember who I am talking about feel free to visit this race report.

The night before this race, I was in the same head space.  Mentally and spiritually.  However,  I wasn't hanging with them physically and I hadn't been running for about 2 weeks so my fitness wasn't the same either.  I hadn't been running because I had never let myself properly rest from the Holiday Lake 50K.  I hadn't been running because Trevor had the courage to tell someone close to him that they needed to not race when he knew it was all that person (me) was narrowly focusing on so intently. Despite risking having to witness, what could have been, a class 10 mantrum he spoke up. Jordan, I wager, felt a jolt in the force (dude is a Jedi if you weren't aware) when this occurred because he has been trying to get me to see the light for many weeks.  Yet... I was still happy.  Happy and honored.

The Eastern Divide 50k is pretty tough.  Beautiful, but tough.  Like me...see another analogy. Kidding, but really.  Anyway, Eastern Divide was something that I wanted to be a part of even if I couldn't run the course on that day.  Probably the hardest part of pulling myself from the race was the idea that I wouldn't be able to experience it first hand.  Viscerally.  Feel the breeze from the Cascade Falls at the start.  The pain of the "meadow".  Smiles from the volunteers at the aid stations.  The beautifully difficult end by the lake. Toeing the line with my friends.   I dreamed about the race.  That isn't an exaggeration. Kirby puts on a hell of race.

Flashback time.  It's a typical weekend run with the crew.  Sometime after Holiday Lake and before Promise Land.  We are running, I think, part of the CRA.  I get a stick in the leg.  This stick stuck around (nyuck nyuck) for a little bit because I'm a dweeb and thought it was just a scrape.  Not a puncture with stick still in it.  This was on my right leg around the ankle region.  A week later we are running I feel like I have shin splints on the same leg.  A week after that I notice the wound isn't healing so I investigate.  By investigate I mean pick at the wound.  Viola!  Stick gets removed.  So I think, it wasn't shin splints it was stick in the leg pain.  So I keep running.  Then at Promise Land I ask Jordan to look at my shin because the pain isn't going away.  He pushes around my calf (yes I have a calf) then looks at me says "hmmm".  "Hmmm" in doctor speak, doctor who is your friend speak to be precise, translates to "how do I tell him to stop running".  He basically says "Stop running an get an x-ray".

Guess what I do?  I keep running and never get an X-Ray.   Apparently Dr. Jordan Chang, amazing friend/bad ass Ultra runner/good guy/smart mother trucker, doesn't know more about the human body than I do. I'm pretty arrogant piece of monkey flop sometimes.  Also I was scared the X-Ray would tell me something I didn't want to hear.  My leg would feel good, then bad, good, then bad.  But never great. Vitamin I was becoming a daily thing.   I pushed through many times I shouldn't have.  All the while convinced it was nothing.  So what stopped the madness? I don't know if Trevor got elected by the crew or did it on his own but finally someone had to break through.  After a few failed training runs it was time for me to stop pushing.   I'm just thankful for Jordan and Trevor's ability to look me in the eyes and tell me to simmer down.  Anybody who knows the depth of my stubbornness will tell you that isn't easy.

Two weeks out, I pull myself.  Everyone sent texts telling me it was the right thing to do. Telling me they were proud of me.  Even with all the love, I felt like a failure.  But I wasn't going to let tha feeling continue. I decided to try to stay positive and be at peace with my decision.  Trevor helped me talk it through over a slice of Benny's.  Bee Tee Dubs...a lot of life's conundrums should be discussed over a slice of Benny's.    One of the ways I wanted to stay in the loop on race day was to work the "rave" station that Jordan hosts every year.

Now that training was off the table for a little while, my focus switched to what I could do.  I was and still am afraid of losing massive amounts of fitness while resting my shin.  Even now that I know what some rest can do to help my leg I have to fight daily to not run. I’ve started riding more.  Either to work and back home or with friends like Chris Webb and Kristen Chang.  I have to admit the rides on the weekends with Chris and Kristen have been a lot of fun.  The rides to and from work, not so much.   I have also been swimming at the Christiansburg rec center.  No offense to swimmers…but swimming laps gets BORING!  It’s like a very wet treadmill.  Only worse.  But it is nice for a change of pace and truth be told I do like the feeling of swimming.   Even with all this activity, activity that isn’t what anyone would call easy, I feel like I am missing something.   Just stay patient.  That is what I have to do.

I never can catch Chris Webb

I love this place I call home!

So glad Kristen lead me on this adventure.  And that she stopped.

Jordan was more than glad to have me help out with his aid station.  He also asked me some questions about my leg and referred me to a doctor to get checked out.  In Jordan’s words, he is a D.O. and can give me the chakow if needed.  I’m not sure what chakow is but it sounds fun.  And if it can get me back on the trail I’ll take two chakows.  Also, unlike before, I took his very good advice and called said chakow doctor.  In the meantime I focused my compulsive nature to helping with the aid station.  It was nice to think I could still be there in some capacity. I’ve only worked one other aid station before and frankly I loved every second of it.

Back to the day before the race.  Friday was packet pick up at the Rising Silo Brewery in Blacksburg.  Talk about good beer.  And free food that is fresh, local and delicious.  It is customary and encouraged to give the cooks a donation for the food and after having a taste you are happy to donate.  Side note:  Go for the tart if you get the chance, amazing.  Packet pick up is always a blast.  Everyone kind of nervously talking about anything other than the race.  Catching up with friends.  The truth is that race day you will not see many of them for very long.  It isn’t until you are at the finish and totally shattered will you get to see these wonderful folks.  And then you will talk again but it’s usually strained and all you can think about is eating all the food.  All of it.

I wasn’t sure I was going to go because I sort of felt like a trespasser.  Not that anyone there would or had made me feel that way, quite opposite really.  But because I have issues I have to get over.  Something this rest is helping me realize.  I am glad I went though.  Everyone was there.  Hugs all around.  Such a wonderful community.  Chris and Julia who I hadn’t seen in a minute.  Such great friends.  Heather, Chris and little Lydia.  Always a great time with them.  Jordan was there.  Sitting at the table just chatting with everyone.  Because everyone knows and loves him.  Loves him and his Jedi wisdom.  Trevor and Ginger!  You all know how I feel about them.  I saw Royce for a second which is always great.  What a wonderful dude, going to miss our weekly running sessions when he moves.  Amy was there with her always present smile. Andy and his girls.  Never a bad time with him.  Starner and I talked a little. Super proud of him and to call him a friend. I found out Rick dropped too because of an injury.    That was bad news because I knew he would do so well! Jim, Sarah, Tanner (my little buddy) and baby Jameson stopped by to say hello and got to hang with them a bit. So many people that I truly admire and I hope I haven’t forgot anyone.

Kirby made the necessary announcements and I could feel the excitement for the race he so diligently put together.  After the announcements I talked to Jordan about the next morning and we agreed I would meet him and Royce at the Daps and ride to the start from there.  Here is where I get giddy.  He mentioned something about marking the course that morning.  He said I could help.   So you might be thinking…what is the big deal?  Some ribbon, a few arrows.  Getting up early to go out on the course before the participants.  You’re missing the point.  Doc Chang said I could run with him.  Ok, maybe not those words but he kind of insinuated.  I’ll take it.  That night I got all my gear ready and my mood was somewhere between post training run watermelon and post training run watermelon.  Don’t judge.  I love watermelon.  The icing on the cake…Josh Hamilton called.  This dude is just super cool to talk to and an amazing friend.  Even got to say hello to his amazing wife and equally great friend Jill.  Love them.  I could barely sleep that night I was so happy.

The morning of the race I felt very alive.  A little worried that my leg would hurt during the run but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t hold Jordan back and if it hurt I would stop running then walk back to the car.  Just to be safe I grabbed some Ibuprofen.  I wanted to stay hopeful so I did.   Pulling into the upper lot at the Daps I see Royce and we talk a little bit.  He looked fresh I knew he was going to do well (which he did). Jordan pulled up just after me.  We loaded up and headed to the start. 

Everyone was there.  High fives, hugs and last minute smiles.  Hugs from Ginger.  High fives, hugs and smiles from Matt and Brett.   Then Jordan handed me a staple gun and some staples.  Kirby came by and said we should probably get going.   The moment of truth.  What if my shin hurts after the first step?  Am I done forever with running?  Jordan looks at me with quiet confidence and says “ready?”  Then we start.   I’m right handed so I start with my right leg.  Not sure if that is proper form but that is how I start.  My foot lands.  This is it....  No pain!  Joy shoots through me.  I feel like I am floating.  Like I used to before my shin started to hurt.  I want to scream.  I want to cry.  Despite my usual antics I do neither.   We head up the Cascades and I feel great.  The falls are so pretty.  We get to the first aid station and are done marking.  Meet up with Mountain Bikers who are running that station, trade jokes and then head back.  Even though my shin didn’t hurt it was evident I need to build back to where I was.  It just felt good to run again.

On the way back we see Frank leading the charge (which he never gave up) followed shortly by Trevor, Chris, and Eric.  They all got some vuvuzela love from one Mao Mao.   Brett was just behind them and I am not sure how he did it but he cheered me up even more.  After the runners got past us we started running again to the car.  The downhill felt great and again, no shin pain.  I took an unwitting detour to the falls and took a minute to soak in the beauty.  Sometimes I take my phone with me and I will take pictures of those moments.  I didn't this day.  Even though I didn't snap a picture I will never forget how the falls looked.  The early morning sun just above them.  The smell of the mist.  It must be what heaven is like. 

The aid station set up went quickly with the help of Heather, Chris, Josh, Jill, Jordan and myself. Before that I got two of the best hugs in the world.  Josh and Jill Hamilton could sell their hugs at a premium.  I think there are apps for that.  So good to see them.  I always enjoy my time with them.  It wasn't long and the runners of the 8 miler started coming in.  Chris Clarke had to take over vuvuzela duties because my game was weak in the morning.  Dude has skills.  Heather and I were up to our usual shenanigans and she made some killer crew sandwiches.  Thanks Heather!

I wont get into the race details.  I wont steal the the thunder from my friends.  But they all did wonderfully awesome.  Not  being on the course "with" them was tough but being part of this community means the world to me.  Trevor said something to me over that pizza I will never forget.  He said, "Sean...you are more than running.  You are more than a runner."  He is right.  It may take this little setback to remind of that.  I may forget who I am sometimes but these wonderful people around me remind me daily that what we do is more than running.  We are more than runners.  We are family.